Actions to Change Your Life

Resolving Conflict and Understanding Behavior in the Workplace and Job Performance

Resolving Conflict. Conflict cannot always be avoided. What is the source of fights. How should we respond? What are the three steps we should take? How should we treat other people?      

Resolving Conflict
  • Biblical Principles and Questions
  • Video 1 on Resolving Conflict
  • Video 2 on Resolving Conflict
  • Summary Statements about Conflict
  • Principles That Work
  • Practical Actions
  • Questions to Discuss About Conflict
  • Understanding Behavior in the Workplace
  • Top Skills Needed For Conflict Resolution
  • Don’t Just Quit
  • What is Job Performance?

Biblical Principles for Resolving Conflict

James 4:1-4  

4 What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? 2 You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God. 3 When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.

4 You adulterous people,[a] don’t you know that friendship with the world means enmity against God? Therefore, anyone who chooses to be a friend of the world becomes an enemy of God.

What is the source of fights (verses 1-2)?

Why don’t we get what we want (verses 2-3)?

Matthew 5:23-26  

23 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you,24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.

25 “Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still together on the way, or your adversary may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. 26 Truly I tell you, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny.

If another person has something against you, what should you do?

Romans 12:18  

18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.

What is my responsibility regarding conflict with others?

Matthew 18:15-20  Dealing With Sin in the Church

15 “If your brother or sister[a] sins,[b] go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over.16 But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’[c] 17 If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

18 “Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be[d] bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be[e] loosed in heaven.

19 “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”

How is conflict to be resolved (vs. 15)?

What are the next three steps in resolving conflict if the brother/sister does not wish to be reconciled? (vss.16-17)

Proverbs 15:11  

11 Death and Destruction[a] lie open before the Lord—
    how much more do human hearts!

When someone is angry with you, how should you respond?

Galatians 5:14  

14 For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

How should we treat other people?

Colossians 3:21  

21 Fathers,[a] do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.

What characteristics should God’s chosen people have?

What binds these virtues together in unity?

2 Corinthians 5:18-19  

18 All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: 19 that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation.

Who resolved the conflict between God and man? How?

Matthew 5:9  

9 Blessed are the peacemakers,
    for they will be called children of God.

What does Jesus call His Followers to do?

What reward do they receive for doing this?

Video 1. Learn How to Resolve Conflict & Restore Relationships

Pastor Rick Warren – Learn How to Resolve Conflict & Restore Relationships – You can stop at 26 Minutes after Steps 1 & 2. Or, the total time is 1 hour 17 minutes for Steps 1 to 7. This video has had 1.5 million views.

Video 2 on Resolving Conflict

worknlearn.us, Class #10, Resolving Conflict, Pastor Byron Westbrook

Summary Statements about Resolving Conflict

  • Because we want our own desires, we have conflict with others (James 4:1-4).
  • We need to have Christ’s attitude and think of other’s interests as more important than our own (Philippians 2:5).
  • We are to strive to live peaceably with all men (Romans 12:18).
  • When a conflict arises, the goal is to be reconciled (Matthew 5:23-26).
  • We should take the initiative and work to be reconciled (Matthew 5:9)

Principles That Work

1.  Conflict in the workplace gives you either a platform or a battleground. 

You can either affirm your personal spiritual commitment or fight like some others.

2.  Avoiding conflict often involves putting the needs and interest of others above our personal needs and interests (Philippians 2:3).

3.  Sometimes conflicts may be unavoidable. We do, however, have control over our responses.

4.  Conflicts provide an opportunity for growth and maturing in our faith; many times the process can be painful.

5.  When we are involved in conflict:

  • Think carefully before we respond (Proverbs 10:19).
  • Focus on facts rather than feelings.
  • Present our concerns to people in an affirming way (Ecclesiastes 10:4).
  • Apologize if we are fault.
  • Do our part to be reconciled.

Practical Actions

  1. Give the initials of the person with whom you have the most frequent conflicts.
  2. What are the three areas that cause you the greatest amount of conflict with other people?
  3. List the action steps you can take to address dealing properly with conflict.
  4. Are there three things you will do as a result of this study to decrease the number of conflicts you have with others?

Questions to Discuss About Conflict

Question #1:     Describe (without mentioning their names) two people with whom you have frequent conflict?

Question #2:     What are the main areas of conflict between you and these people? How do the conflicts usually take place?

Question #3:     Using what you have learned in this action, tell about one conflict that you did not handle properly, and then describe how you would handle it now.

Question #4:  Name the one or two things that you have learned in these actions about resolving conflict that will be the most helpful to you.

Career Skills

Understanding Behavior in the Workplace

Always act like a professional in the workplace:

Personal values
  • Be reliable and dependable.  Come to work on time, arrive on time and prepare for meetings, and deliver quality work product by deadline.
  • Be of great character.  Carry yourself with decency and demonstrate the highest degree of integrity – always.
  • Never use company time or resources for personal use.  When you are in work, use every minute to work.  That’s what you are paid to do.
  • Master several skills that make you the go-to-person on your team for these skills.
  • Be enthusiastic about learning new skills.
  • Share your knowledge with peers if they express interest.  Offer to help them when you see they need help.
    • Maintain a positive attitude and inspire those around you.
    • Take ownership.  When you make a mistake, admit it and fix it if you can.  If you can’t, find someone who can.
    • Be proactive.  When you see a need, fill it.  When you see a challenge or opportunity ahead, address it.
    • Be diligent.  Deliver the best work product you can on deadline.  The quality of your work speaks volumes about you.
    • Exercise self-discipline.  Be sure you are up to your professional best during working hours, and leave your personal life outside the workplace whenever possible.
    • Show dedication to quality and use company resources in the smartest way possible.
    • Put the work mission first when you are in work.  It’s not about you or your ego.  You are there to work toward completing the work mission – whether it is the mission for this particular job or the company’s overall mission.
    • Understand important data that defines success in your role – whether it is sales growth, cost reduction, quality improvement, production efficiency, customer service, etc.
    • Be efficient.  Identify ways to save the company money, time and other resources.  Then share them with your supervisor.
    • Pitch in – even when a task is not in your job description but needs to get done because it’s crunch time for your team.  If a supervisor asks, just pitch in and get it done.  It’s all about teamwork and you never know when you are going to need the help.
    • Don’t whine about problems.  Identify opportunities and challenges, and offer solutions.
    • Dedicate yourself to transparency and have nothing to hide.
    • Be organized.  Know what you’ve got and where it’s located.  That way, you won’t lose valuable time because something fell through the cracks.
    • Communicate clearly and concisely.  Deliver the facts in as few words as necessary to get the message across.

    Source of some of the items are from “20 Tips To Help You Act Like a Professional in the Workplace” by Site Staff/DECA DIRECT

    Top Skills Needed For Resolving Conflict

    • Communication
      • Read nonverbal cues
      • Know when to interrupt and when to stay quiet
      • Be clear and concise when explaining a concept or opinion
    • Teamwork
      • Focus on shared goals instead of disagreements
      • Ensure each team member has a clearly defined role
      • Suppress personal ego and desires, and consider the needs of other team members
    • Problem-Solving
      • Understand the source or cause of conflict
      • Evaluate various solutions and consider multiple interests and points of view
      • Demonstrate a willingness to revisit unresolved issues and try another solution
    • Stress Management
      • Inject a dose of humor to dilute anger and frustration
      • Take well-timed breaks to bring calm
      • Talk to others as a means of releasing bottled-up emotions
    • Emotional Agility
      • Be emotionally aware – understand emotions of all individuals engaged in the conflict
      • Put yourself in another’s shoes and practice empathy and compassion

    Sourced from “Top 5 Skills Needed to Successfully Resolve Conflicts in the Workplace” by Ian Cornett/Eagle’s Flight

    Don’t Just Quit

    What if you don’t like your job?  Suppose:

    • Your boss has a bad day and says something disrespectful
    • There is little chance that you will be promoted
    • You have a better offer

    What if you are asked to do something illegal, dishonest, or unethical?

    1. First, tell your immediate supervisor you cannot do that and why
    2. Then, tell his manager
    3. Then, tell the owner

    Don’t Just Quit

    • Don’t act on the spur of the moment
    • Discuss the situation with your friends
    • If you decide to resign, BEFORE YOU QUIT, CONTACT YOUR MENTOR OR CAREER COACH AT worknlearninc@gmail.com.
    • Don’t burn any bridges behind you.
      • Leave on good terms.
      • YOU WANT TO GET A GOOD REFERENCE when some future employer calls your present employer.
    • Give your employer at least two weeks’ notice.
      • You might be asked to leave sooner or later than that.
      • Don’t cause your employer to be unable to meet commitments she may have made to customers or others.

    If you have a valid reason to resign, don’t look back.  Look ahead to other opportunities God has in mind for you.

    Job Performance

    What is Job Performance?

    • Your performance on the job will likely be measured by What you achieve + How you achieve it.  Your performance will be measured and evaluated by your supervisor.
    • It is very important, when you start a job, to talk with your supervisor about his or her expectations of you, specifically, your job responsibilities and goals.  You should discuss thoroughly, ask questions, take notes, and get very clear on the:
      • Job responsibilities – activities that you are expected to perform (e.g., answer customer calls, mail product samples).
      • “What” Goals – results that are expected of you (e.g., answer 100% of all customer calls within 3 rings and mail product samples to customers within 24 hours of their inquiry, 100% of the time).  Your actual results for your “what” goals may be measured by phone activity reports and shipping reports.
      • “How” Goals – behaviors that are expected of you to achieve the above results (e.g., being polite, responsive and communicating important information to customers and working collaboratively with product and shipping department employees).  Your actual results of your “how” goals may be measured by customer satisfaction surveys and shipping department manager feedback.
    • If you understand your supervisor’s expectations for the job you perform and if you have agreement with him/her on your goals and how your performance toward those goals will be measured/evaluated, you will likely reduce the possibility of you and your supervisor having different points of view on how you are doing and where you may need to improve, at any given point in time.
    • Many companies conduct annual performance reviews.  The review is a written evaluation documenting your supervisor’s view of your results and how you achieved them.  You may be asked for your input before the review is written so be ready.
    • You should receive feedback from your supervisor on an ongoing basis.  Ask him or her to have a minimum of one touch-point each week to discuss your progress.  This will help you stay on track and to make adjustments in a timely manner, when needed.

    Why is this important?

    • Performing your job and meeting or exceed expectations of your supervisor will be a key factor in keeping your job, progressing in your job and future promotion within the company, and receiving compensation increases based on your performance.

    Nice going!!! The next topic is Stewardship.

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